Ah! There's nothing like bringing a new baby home. You fall in love with that beautiful angelic face, and your heart just melts. What could be more delightful than holding that precious bundle you've been waiting on for nine months?
You bring Little "Johnny" or "Suzy" home and start your new life as a family. But did you know, according to research done by John Gottman, Ph.D. at the Relationship Research Institute, ". . . within three years after the birth of a child, approximately two-thirds of couples will experience a significant drop in relationship quality and have a dramatic increase in conflict and hostility."
Here's some tips on how to nurture your marriage after the baby arrives.
Things You’ll Need in Order to Accomplish these Steps:
Awareness
Determination
A Willingness to Change
Step 1. Date--You and your mate need time alone where the two of you can give each other that "delighted attention" you got as babies and that you got when the two of you feel in love originally. Don't talk about problems on the date. Don't invite friends, family or pets along on your date. Make your date fun. Remember you once were great playmates and it was so fun you wanted to do it forever, so you got married.
Step 2. In conflict avoid criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling. Psychologist, John Gottman, found in his 30 study of predictors for happy, stable marriages that these 4 things give you at least an 80% chance of divorcing if you use them frequently in your conflicts.
Step 3. Play with your baby together. However, don't compete for his/her attention while playing together. This is the moment you first start teaching your child that you and your mate are a team. Play cooperatively. And remember, babies love faces more than any toy and they especially love mom and dad's face.
For more information, go to my website www.mariposapsychotherapy.com
If you need help with your relationship or marriage, you can reach me at 512-795-0402
I'm located at 4131 Spicewood Springs, M-1, Austin, Texas 78759
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