Are you annoyed when your "significant other" trys to make small talk with you? And how do you respond? Ignore them or bark at them? If these are the responses you have, you are missing out on "the fundemental unit of emotional communication." Psychologist, John Gottman, has found that these moments are the building blocks of emotional connection. "You're not going to believe what I heard today," translated, really means, "I want to connect with you."
"Turning towards," or responding with positive and affirmative interest, when your significant other makes small talk, is a way to build intimacy and increase positive feelings for one another. It's nice to have this in your relationship, but more importantly, it serves as a buffer when conflicts occur. It's like putting money in the bank. You make deposits over and over, and then the emotional bank account fills. When you have a heated conflict and there is sufficiant positive feelings between you and your significant other, the conflicts are less likely to escalate and there is more opportunity for resolution.
"There's gold in them there hills," and it's those small moments. Relish them, hear the unspoken message in them and respond positively. You'll be amazed how it will enhance your communication and the relationship itself.
If you would like to learn more about how to improve your relationship, you can reach me at 512-795-0402 or go to relationships on my website.
I am located at 4131 Spicewood Springs, M-1, Austin, Texas 78759
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
2 comments:
Yes, mutual communication between people is very important. Because human beings are social animals. If there is no communication, people will no longer be able to survive.
http://eyesinkaleidoscope.blogspot.com/
http://fymtyh.blogspot.com/
I agree that we are social beings and need to connections of other people. So more so that others. Like some people need lots of social connections and others just need a few close ones. I like having a lot of connections but only a few intimate ones. I'm finding out who some of those intimate relationships via some of the social networks.
http://www.inthemoment.com
Post a Comment