Don't Wait Until the Last Minute for Pre-Marital Counseling

Wedding planning is hard, but marriage can be harder. Thanks to a program sponsored by the
Health and Human Services Commission, couples approaching marriage can build a solid
foundation and save the $60 marriage license fee as well.

The Twogether in Texas program offers premarital education to engaged couples across the state
through a network of providers. Couples who go through a class or couple's sessions can have their marriage license fee reduced by $60 and waive the 72-hour waiting period after they get their license.

"The premarital education that couples get in the Twogether in Texas program can set a strong
foundation for a marriage and give couples a better idea of the challenges they will face," said
Gordon Leeks, who oversees the program for HHSC.
"The idea behind Twogether in Texas is that couples take an eight- hour class or eight house of couple's session which covers conflict resolution, communication and other key aspects of marriage," Leeks said. "The goal is to increase the well-being of all Texas children by providing voluntary marriage and relationship education skills to their parents.”

Couples who complete a class or sessions get a certificate that they can take to their county clerk when they apply for their marriage license. The certificate is good for one year and serves as proof that the couple is eligible for the discounted marriage license fee.

And plan ahead. It could take up to 8 weeks to complete a course or sessions.

Program facts:
1. The marriage education classes and discount for a marriage license were authorized by
House Bill 2685 from the 2007 Texas legislative session.
2.29,000 people statewide completed the classes in FY 2014.
3. Researchers have found that couples who underwent counseling before their wedding had a 30% higher marital success rate than those who did not.


If you are interested in making your relationship stronger and would like to avoid the causes of divorce, call Carolyn C. Martin at 512-795-0402 at Mariposa Psychotherapy Services

Premarital Bliss: Being In Love is Necessary But Not Sufficient

Relationships go through 3 stages:

1. The In-Love Stage--You see all of the good in your partner and the relationship. If there is anything negative or bad, you minimize it or ignore it.
2. The Disillusionment Stages--You've been with your partner long enough to see all their warts and bad habit and all the problems in the relationship. You see all of the bad and if there is any good you minimize it or ignore it. If unprepared, it is very common for couples who come to this stage, to think it's time for a divorce.
3. The Working Stage--You've seen the good and the bad in your partner and the relationship. You and your partner are working to increase all the good things about yourself and the relationship and you recognize there are things that aren't so good. You're both working to minimize the bad and/or accept that some things aren't going to change. This stage cements the commitment to the marriage and depends the love and devotion. This is the stage that carries couples to "forever."

Couples who come in for premarital counseling and are still in the "in-love" stage often find it hard to believe they will ever have any significant problems. When I say, "There will come a day when you will look at your partner and think, 'What have I done?,' they often don't believe me. They tell me how in love they are, how perfect they are for each other, how much they have in common and how they are different from most couples because they are soulmates. When I explain that every couple goes through the disillusionment stage, that it's part of relationship maturation, these couples often continue to be skeptical. And that's OK.

The In-Love Stage is a delightful place to be. Most of us have been there at least once. Who would ever want to move out of this stage? But, inevitably, we all do. And for couples who haven't experienced the Disillusionment Stage yet, premarital counseling has prepared them. When that time comes, they will be less shocked and alarmed. Thinking back to the premarital counseling, they are more likely to normalize what they are experiencing and say, "Oh, now I get it. I guess we've got work to do on our marriage," instead of thinking, "This means we need to get a divorce."

If you're planning to marry soon, know that according to research, you are half as likely to divorce if you do premarital counseling before the wedding. If you are interested in premarital counseling, you can reach me at 512-795-002 or go to my website.  

 

  

Wedding Vows--The Most Overlooked & Most Important Part of Your Wedding

The most overlooked and most important part of your wedding is the exchanging of the vows. They are the heart and soul of the wedding ceremony. All the rest is a celebration of the vow exchange.

Your vows are your promises to each other concerning how you will BE with each other. They are your rules, constitution and contract, and like all good contracts, they state your willingness to be accountable to your partner.

Technically, the exchanging of the vows is the wedding. The moment when the vows are spoken is the moment of covenant. And yet, many couples never discuss or make a decision about what will be said. Quite often couples don’t even know what will be said until the day of the wedding, because they leave it up to the minister or officiate to decide.

Surely the most significant words you will ever say to each other should be well-thought out and heart felt. In my premarital counseling many couples chose to spend a few sessions discussing the vows the officiate has provided or learning how to write their own vows.

If you would like to learn more about premarital counseling or writing your own vows, I can be reached at 512-795-0402. I am located at 4131 Spicewood Springs, Austin, Texas 78759