The most overlooked and most important part of your wedding is the exchanging of the vows. They are the heart and soul of the wedding ceremony. All the rest is a celebration of the vow exchange.
Your vows are your promises to each other concerning how you will BE with each other. They are your rules, constitution and contract, and like all good contracts, they state your willingness to be accountable to your partner.
Technically, the exchanging of the vows is the wedding. The moment when the vows are spoken is the moment of covenant. And yet, many couples never discuss or make a decision about what will be said. Quite often couples don’t even know what will be said until the day of the wedding, because they leave it up to the minister or officiate to decide.
Surely the most significant words you will ever say to each other should be well-thought out and heart felt. In my premarital counseling many couples chose to spend a few sessions discussing the vows the officiate has provided or learning how to write their own vows.
If you would like to learn more about premarital counseling or writing your own vows, I can be reached at 512-795-0402. I am located at 4131 Spicewood Springs, Austin, Texas 78759
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Hi there! I just foundy your blog and couldn't agree with you more. As a Wedding Officiant in Seattle, the vows are truly the heart and soul of a wedding ceremony - and pre-marital counseling/coaching is also an opportunity to crafts vows that will serve as foundation for the marriage partnership. Annemarie Juhlian http://www.annemariejuhlian.com
Carolyn: I believe that personal wedding vows are the most important tool a couple could ever have in their relationship tool box if they are written together as a result of shared conversation where the couple articulates the dream they have for their own personal lives and the life of their marriage.
The vows are promises of what they will do to keep those vows alive.
Here's a great tip you can pass along to your couples: Read those vows every day. Sometimes they will read those vows by themselves and other times they will red those vows together.
This creates an opportunity to settle any little problems that come up before they blow up out of proportion.
If you send me an Email I will send you an an attachment for the 10 Commandments of Marriage. I just put some beautiful graphics to it and it isn't yet posted to my site.
I have an Ebook, and articles on writing wedding vows and keeping the dream alive. www.weddingvowsandceremonies.com
Great work you are doing with your couples. My main message is that if a couple focuses on the little things the big things will take care of themselves because they never become big things.
Love, light and laughter,
Rev. Linda Bardes
The Wedding Vow Coach
Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!
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