THE CRISIS — Infidelity / Affair / Cheating / Adultery
Basically they’re all the same.
You thought you had an understanding with your partner or spouse that included not having a romantic or sexual relationship with anyone outside your relationship or marriage.
Now —
You either suspect or know for a fact he/she is cheating on you
or has cheated on you.
Or —
You either are cheating or were cheating on him/her.
Nothing stirs feelings up more than dealing with this issue. People frequently report their feelings being completely out of control and often report feeling crazy at times. This is true for both the one cheated on and the one doing the cheating.
Webster’s dictionary defines a crisis as being
“the turning point for better or worse; a sudden attack of pain, distress or disordered function; an emotionally significant event or radical change of status in a person’s life; the decisive moment, an unstable or crucial time or state of affair in which a decisive change is impending; a situation that has reached a critical phase.”
Cheating, or being cheated on, creates a major crisis in your life. And when it does, one word takes center stage — the word that says it all.
BETRAYAL
Few feelings can compare. Even death often is easier to deal with.
Betraying someone who trusted you, even in the most callous of people, often produces more guilt than almost any misdeed. Being betrayed wounds at the deepest level. It seems as if the relationship can never be healed. How could you ever feel trusted again, or how could you ever trust again?
I continuously hear people say, "It takes time to get over being betrayed." Well, yes. But my question to my clients who have cheated on their loved one is, "How are you going to use this time? Just letting time pass isn't enough. You've got to do the 'right things' during that time that is passing."
Sometimes the person who cheats has a good grasp of what it's going to take to rebuild trust. Often, they have no idea. When my clients "have no idea." I tell them to ask the person they've hurt, listen compassionately to their answer and be willing to do what it takes. This is the essense of committment.
If you and your mate are married, you hopefully have another level of committment. The intent of the vows we take in the marriage ceremony is "for better or for worst." In your marriage vows, aren't you committing to doing everything it takes to make the marriage as good as you possibily can make it?
If you're having a difficult time building trust with your "significant other," you can reach me at 512-795-0402. I'm located at 4131 Spicewood Springs, M-1, Austin, Texas 78759. If you live out of Austin and would like to work on building trust with your mate, you can reach me on Liveperson.com.
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Are you having problems in your marriage? Are you unsure of what to do? Have you tried all else and have failed? Well then you can always try a marriage counselor. A trained professional in the art of counseling married couples and making sure the marriage gets back on the right track. Marriage counselors are trained in the field of helping marriages and dysfunctional families come together again. They help put back crumbling marriages and try to mend what is wrong in the marriage. They offer you advice on how to save your marriage and how to make it work like clock work. Marriage counselors also resolve problems you might be having and teach you how to work through the anger or frustration you might have. They will also advice you on how you can end a painful relationship that has no growth or isn't worth staying in. In marriage you have to take in the good as well as the bad and try to understand each other faults and work through them.
http://www.marriage-counselors.net/
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