More Roots

Well, I never made it to see Lucy, my long lost relative from Ethopia. But in the last year I have been tracing my closer family roots. Ancestry.com is an amazing thing. I found two distant cousins who are passionate about geneology too and we have been furiously exchanging information about the Newton family and all the descendents.

Again as I approach my 60th birthday, I'm trying to make dramatic changes in my life. Not to say my life is bad. It certainly isn't, but I feel as though going from 59 to 60 is a passage into, at least mentally, the phase of life called "crone," a phase of wisdom, maturity and spirtuality. In pagan beliefs, I should have gone through that phase at 50, and I guess in many respects I did. But I've also always been a late bloomer. Or maybe, because people live longer now, we can hold off moving into "cronehood" until 60.

With my transition to 60, I've decided to go back to the place of my farthest recorded roots. I'm going to Pennsylvania in October. I hope to plug the gaps in my family history. It will be an interesting journey. I'm going alone. It seems that as we age, it is our destiny to be alone. We come into the world alone and become part of something bigger, but at the end, we go out alone.

But until that day comes for me, well, I say, there's no reason you can't be wise, mature, spiritual and, also, flying down the highway of life at 90 miles an hour with the top down. I bet B B Ellerbeck was at least 60 when he designed the first retractable hardtop car in 1931.

By the way, did I mention we bought a convertible a month ago?

60 is the new 50, and I'm going to live the rest of my life like my pants are on fire. Carolyn C. Martin

My Addiction

I discovered this week that I have addiction. I never knew this. Of course, the "first step" to dealing with any addiction is "acknowledging you are powerless over _________." Well, I'm publicly acknowledging that I am powerless over planning. I feel so compelled to "plan" that I can hardly help myself. I discovered this thing about myself as I have gone through the the last few months with my pending birthday celebration looming over me. My "plan" was to wait until the last minute to "plan" my birthday vacation. This decision was a "plan" to try to have a life changing experience during the year proceeding my 60th birthday.

But I never dreamed my life changing experience would lead to a discovery of addiction. I just can't stand not knowing what I'm going to do for this vacation. Everytime I have a free moment, I find myself trying to find "a cheap flight, vacation etc." I just can't seem to leave it to chance. Of course, the wise thing to do would be to "plan" ahead in order to get the least expensive flights, accommodation, etc. And, my criteria for what it is we will do, is that it can't be expensive. So, I keep thinking, the only thing cheap enough in December will be to somewhere like Alaska, a place where no one would want to go between Christmas and New Years--in the dead of winter.

But I, also, discovered that unconsciously I had a back-up "plan." Tickets to Paris in the winter are very cheap. If all else fails, we'll be in Paris for my birthday and New Years. Who could complain about that? So, like all addicts, I've got a something "stashed" away if I need it. I can get my fix just by reminding myself that I have a back-up plan.

Spontaneity is way overrated and given half a chance I'll stamp it out.
Carolyn Martin

I'm Now Available on Liveperson.com--Press Release

Carolyn C. Martin can now be found at www.liveperson.com/carolyn-c-martin for live chat or phone counseling or by email.
Issued By: Mariposa PsychotherapyJul 03, 2008 21:22:56


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
PRLog (Press Release) – Jul 03, 2008 – After doing counseling and psychotherapy in private practice and in hospitals for over 20 years, Carolyn C. Martin, MS, LPC, LMFT, has become available for online chat, phone counseling and through email at www.liveperson.com/carolyn-c-martin. Ms. Martin is a Licenced Professional Counselor and Marriage and Family Therapist in Austin, Texas. She provides counseling & therapy to individuals, couples, and families. She feels that her first task as a therapist is to establish trust with my clients. Then she willI help them discover better ways of dealing with their world. Her approach to therapy is compassionate, reassuring and solution oriented. She sees individuals for depression, anxiety and sexual abuse. She sees couples for premarital, marital, post-divorce, specializing in issues of infidelity, affairs, and cheating. She also sees clients for parenting issues, specializing in the problems of new parents. Ms. Martin uses a multitude of therapeutic approaches: cognitive behavioral, solution-focused, psychodynamic, existential, behavioral, and family systems therapy, etc. Coming from a teaching background, she is acutely aware that clients have a wide variety of learning styles. She trys to fit the method to the client. When working with couples in premarital or marriage counseling, she assesses & facilitates change using the research & methods of John Gottman. This approach for martial success is comprehensive and highly effective. She is a Certified Gottman Educator for the Bringing Baby Home Workshop also. You can also find her at www.mariposapsychotherapy.com

Spring Has Sprung

Today's blog seems forced. I have no topic in mind, no great wisdom to share, and only a few minutes to write. The weather is beautiful here in Austin, Texas, and I'd rather be outside. I just came from a walk, but who can get enough of perfect weather. Unfortunately, I have to work--paperwork, yuck.

Shouldn't there be some rule like, "Paperwork is not allow if it's between 70 and 80 degrees, there's not a cloud in the sky and flowers are popping out as you read this rule?"

A Big Life Change

So, after much exploration of places to go for my birthday, I began planning a romantic, adventure vacation to Kauai, Hawaii. I did my research, found flights and hotel, decided we would "take flight" on a helicopter on my birthday and would spend New Year's at a luau. WOW! A real dream of a vacation.

So, I was ready to press the botton and book the trip because I had it all planned out in my head. I always plan, plan thoroughly and tenaciously. I have to know what's coming, and I take great joy in fantacizing about what is to come. The planning is as important as the trip itself. All our trips are basically planned by me. Yes, I can be spontaneous, but only "planned spontaneity."

Then it hit me. If I really am looking for a life change, not planning would be the more obvious way to go. Oh, the agony of giving up a lifelong habit, a good habit, but any habit can be a curse. It's hard to believe, but I've decided to wait until the last minute to plan this trip. Last minute deals are all over the internet.

I'm "flying blind" on this one and I'm having withdrawal. I just can't help myself. I keep checking vacation deals and then catching myself. Reluctantly, I shut down the website and walk away from my computer. Ugg!

"Old habits die hard, and I need a jump start." Carolyn C. Martin

The Origins of Happiness

So, as I thought about going to see Lucy, my long lost relative and the origin of humankind (refer to the last entry), I've been thinking about the origins of happiness. What made Lucy happy? My lack of knowledge about humans in that time period makes it hard to imagine what made her happy. However, in such a primal state, I would guess that having safety, food, and shelter for herself and her young was what made her happy. But as humans have evolved, we have developed other ways of finding happiness once our basic needs are met.

"I believe that satisfaction, joy and happiness are the ultimate purposes of life. And the basic sources of happiness are a good heart, compassion, and love." The Dalai Lama

Birthday Experience

The search for my 60th birthday experience is still on. I've explored Africa, the Med, the Caribbean, and Central America as possible birthday vacations. Each has a lot to offer.

Since we're talking about celebrating my birth, I thought it only proper I find my long lost relative, Lucy. For those of you who are unaware, Lucy is the name of the oldest remains of a human. She was found in Hadar, Ethiopia and is on display in Houston until some time in April. The belief is that Ethiopia is the "birthplace" of humankind. While I could just go visit her in Houston, I'd rather go to Ethiopia where it all began.

Tandem hang gliding is on the list of things to do. It's the nearest to flying, my effort to recapture my childhood dreams of flying. But I also have discovered rainforest canopy adventures in Costa Rica. Straight out of one of my favorite movies, Medicine Man, I've found the real-life experience that thrills me everytime I watch this movie. Flying through the trees on a belay has now caught my attention.

But what about the name of this blog, The Secret Life of a Butterfly? Let us not forget that there are over 1,000 butterfly species found in Costa Rica and they are everywhere in the air year round.

And, also, "being" in the presence of lions, tiger, elephants, hippos etc on a safari has always intrigued me. I guess another movie is responsible for this--Out of Africa. My husband keeps warning me of the polical unrest in Kenya. Dear, I'll never "own a farm in Africa." Can't I at least see what I'm missing.

Then there's another experience, again, straight out of a movie, Gorillas in the Mist. As my husband keeps reminding me, Uganda and Rwanda are in political unrest also. But to sit as Dian Fossey did, just watching the gorillas, would delight the child, educate the psychologist and enlighten the human in me.

The Med, well, I just have always wanted to take a cruise, see Cairo, Morroco, and Greece. On the other hand, the Caribbean is has perfect weather for a December birthday.

I also have been trying to remember that we'll be on the trip during New Year's. So, where do I want to start 2009?

Time is slipping away fast. I started thinking about this 1/1/08. Somehow, it's now 2/2/08. So I've been thinking maybe I could just start celebrating now by visiting Lucy in Houston. She's got a neighboring exhibit at the Houston Museum of Natural Science--the Butterfly Habitat.

"Life comes at you fast." Commerical for Geico Insurance
"Orange is the new pink and now is the new yesterday." --Carolyn Martin