Monday, June 28, 2010

Infidelity/Cheating--5 Steps to Recovery

John Gottman's most recent research has been in the area of building trust after a marriage partner has been unfaithful. In his research he has found that there are 5 things that the unfaithful partner does that significantly heals the relationship. These are the steps.

The partner who has cheated:

  1. Must have believable & genuine remorse
  2. Must have acquired new behaviors based on “why they cheated.”
  3. Must compensate their partner—what’s important to their partner becomes important to them
  4. Must build a new relationship with their partner that includes honesty, transparency, and cherishing
  5. Must be able to attune to their partner’s negative emotions—awareness, turning towards, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive responses, empathy

If you and your partner are struggling with the difficult task of mending your relationship after one of you has been unfaithful, I can help you work through these steps.
You can reach me at 512-795-0402. Located at 4131 Spicewood Springs, Austin, Texas 78759
Here's a great post from mike Mike Reining.

* Aim for a 1% improvement every single day

That's it! I think all of us could agree that a 1% improvement is something we are capable of.

Well, the power of this is that if you do this every single day, then you will completely transform yourself and your life in less than 1 year.

In fact, if you will be 3,700 times better by the end of this year. This is also why Einstein used to say that "the power of compounding is one of the most powerful forces in the world."

Now, please don't take this example literally. Why?
Because a 3,700 % improvement is impossible! If I could do that, perhaps I could fly. :-) The key idea that I am trying to communicate is this:

* Aim to be better today than you were yesterday

I think gratitude is one of these laws that helps you easily and effortlessly achieve that goal. I think that by being grateful, you are instantly 1% better off every single day than if you forget to express gratitude and the effect after one year will be just as massive.

So, if you have not yet taken a chance to be grateful today, do so now.