Monday, June 28, 2010

Infidelity/Cheating--5 Steps to Recovery

John Gottman's most recent research has been in the area of building trust after a marriage partner has been unfaithful. In his research he has found that there are 5 things that the unfaithful partner does that significantly heals the relationship. These are the steps.

The partner who has cheated:

  1. Must have believable & genuine remorse
  2. Must have acquired new behaviors based on “why they cheated.”
  3. Must compensate their partner—what’s important to their partner becomes important to them
  4. Must build a new relationship with their partner that includes honesty, transparency, and cherishing
  5. Must be able to attune to their partner’s negative emotions—awareness, turning towards, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive responses, empathy

If you and your partner are struggling with the difficult task of mending your relationship after one of you has been unfaithful, I can help you work through these steps.
You can reach me at 512-795-0402. Located at 4131 Spicewood Springs, Austin, Texas 78759

2 comments:

Morninglady said...

I thought this post can be helpful to people in relationships who have previously had a cheating spouse, especially #5. The hurt is still there and an understanding of what is needed to heal seems to be helping my husband and I. (We each had an unfaithful former spouse.)

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