My week has been filed with many things and many moods, good and bad. In many moments I find myself thinking about what my next blog "should" be. Now at the end of this week, I've learned to turn "shouldness" into "awareness." If I let them, my thoughts can be awarenesses of what I could write about.
Thoughout my younger life I struggled with "not knowing" and needing to have the answers to everything. I had a habit of "predicting," as best I could, my future. My wise and much appreciated therapist, Kerry, would make me "aware" of my habit and challenge me to just, "be."
I got really good at "being" until I experienced the worst stress I had ever encountered. I fell deeply back into "needing to know." Recoverying from it took time, patience and just sitting with "not knowing." As my life has continued, extreme life-changing stresses have kicked me back into my habit from time to time. Every time it has, it is accompanied by my struggling to escape my "cocoon" and fly free and just "be" with my life.
My goal is to not fall back into that old habit. I'd like to say it will never happen again. But I just "don't know."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment