I'm 60.

What a fantastic birthday. Kauai was beautiful, fragrant, calming, refreshing and because of the 100% humidity and no heat, I looked 50 not 60. It was much worse "going to be 60" than being 60.

I wouldn't exactly say I held my breath all year, but there was some relief having "the birth day" behind me. And the alternative to not "turning 60" is not desirable to me.

I saw Benjamin Button yesterday and the idea of going backwards in the aging process seemed very appealing. But as my husband said, "Going forwards or backwards, it all ends the same."

I'm Flyin' Now

I did it! I know. I said I'd wait until the day after Thanksgiving, but last Wednesday American Airlines put their flights from Austin to Kauai on sale---60% off the regular price. I was stunned and thrilled. I booked through AMEX where I had a $1000 worth of rewards points. Then the topper was that because I had trouble booking online and called AMEX, they gave me $800 off of the the price of the the trip. Aah, waiting until last minute can pay off sometimes. That's hard for a planner like me to admit.

So, we leave 12/29 and come back 1/5. On the 30th, my 60th birthday, we'll be flying all around Kauai in a small plane. Then on New Year's Eve we're going to a luau and then to the beach to watch the fireworks over the water. We've rented a convertible to get around on the island. The hotel is located on the beach and was surprisingly inexpensive. I can't believe after 10 months of waiting I finally know what I'm doing on my 60th birthday.

But what about the profound change I was hoping for during this year? Has it happened? Surprisingly, yes, I believe it has. Not because of anything I have done. It's happened because Barak Obama is now going to be president. The profound change is in me because he won? I have hope again. I realized at the moment the news splashed across my tv screen that for the last 8 years I have been in a funk, a gray haze with not the slightest glimpse of light leading into the future. I've felt a profound sadness deep inside that America had passed its glory days and the future was all downhill from now on. But Obama's unwavering belief that things can be better and that everyone can be part of making it better, his belief that "we can do it," truly gives me hope. Everyday since the election I've gotten up feeling lighter.

I know, not everyone agrees with me on this issue and some may even feel that funk because Obama won. But I have faith that if people just give him a chance, he will lift our spirits and take our country to place of respect in the world again. I believe he has "the right stuff" and will be a great leader.

Winston Chuchill said, "Meeting Franklin Roosevelt was like opening your first bottle of champagne; knowing him was like drinking it." I believe we'll all be "drinking champagne" in the next 4 years.

Planning vs. Winging It

In an effort to do some preparing for my birthday celebration, I now have 3 more places to add to my list of backup plans: Ruidoso, New Mexico; Las Vegas, Nevada; and Santa Barbara, California, and, of course, Paris was already on the list. But I still haven't given up on Kauai, Hawaii and Costa Rica.

My husband keeps asking me when I'm going to make a decision. Odd! He's the spontaneous one. I've decided I'm going to "maybe" make a decision on Nov. 27th, Thanksgiving Day.

Why is that some of the most special moments in life, are completely unplanned and are just stubbled upon? And could some inventor out there come up with a way to bottle those moments. Pictures, if taken at those times, can help. But what about the moments we can't photograph? And could this inventor also figure out how to share those moments fully with people who weren't there?

Oh!, "head slap," Serendipity (An unsought, unintended, or unexpected discovery, made by accident and sagacity; The discovery of something by accident while investigating something quite different)and ephemeral (things that are transitory, existing only briefly)are the very essense of and is what makes these moments special. I guess if we could truly capture these moments in all their entirety, they would lose their specialness.

Being fully awake and present prepares us to fully appreciate special moments when they come around. Carolyn C. Martin

My Evolving 60th Year

It's been an interesting last few days with the economic crisis. How I will be celebrating my 60th birthday will be effected. Maybe it is a blessing in disguise that I haven't planned anything yet. What life-changing experience will I go through because things may shift so dramatically in the coming months?

I believe no matter what may come, I will grow from it. I believe we all will learn and grow a great deal from the coming months.

There is an element of opportunity in every crisis.
Carolyn C. Martin

More Roots

Well, I never made it to see Lucy, my long lost relative from Ethopia. But in the last year I have been tracing my closer family roots. Ancestry.com is an amazing thing. I found two distant cousins who are passionate about geneology too and we have been furiously exchanging information about the Newton family and all the descendents.

Again as I approach my 60th birthday, I'm trying to make dramatic changes in my life. Not to say my life is bad. It certainly isn't, but I feel as though going from 59 to 60 is a passage into, at least mentally, the phase of life called "crone," a phase of wisdom, maturity and spirtuality. In pagan beliefs, I should have gone through that phase at 50, and I guess in many respects I did. But I've also always been a late bloomer. Or maybe, because people live longer now, we can hold off moving into "cronehood" until 60.

With my transition to 60, I've decided to go back to the place of my farthest recorded roots. I'm going to Pennsylvania in October. I hope to plug the gaps in my family history. It will be an interesting journey. I'm going alone. It seems that as we age, it is our destiny to be alone. We come into the world alone and become part of something bigger, but at the end, we go out alone.

But until that day comes for me, well, I say, there's no reason you can't be wise, mature, spiritual and, also, flying down the highway of life at 90 miles an hour with the top down. I bet B B Ellerbeck was at least 60 when he designed the first retractable hardtop car in 1931.

By the way, did I mention we bought a convertible a month ago?

60 is the new 50, and I'm going to live the rest of my life like my pants are on fire. Carolyn C. Martin

My Addiction

I discovered this week that I have addiction. I never knew this. Of course, the "first step" to dealing with any addiction is "acknowledging you are powerless over _________." Well, I'm publicly acknowledging that I am powerless over planning. I feel so compelled to "plan" that I can hardly help myself. I discovered this thing about myself as I have gone through the the last few months with my pending birthday celebration looming over me. My "plan" was to wait until the last minute to "plan" my birthday vacation. This decision was a "plan" to try to have a life changing experience during the year proceeding my 60th birthday.

But I never dreamed my life changing experience would lead to a discovery of addiction. I just can't stand not knowing what I'm going to do for this vacation. Everytime I have a free moment, I find myself trying to find "a cheap flight, vacation etc." I just can't seem to leave it to chance. Of course, the wise thing to do would be to "plan" ahead in order to get the least expensive flights, accommodation, etc. And, my criteria for what it is we will do, is that it can't be expensive. So, I keep thinking, the only thing cheap enough in December will be to somewhere like Alaska, a place where no one would want to go between Christmas and New Years--in the dead of winter.

But I, also, discovered that unconsciously I had a back-up "plan." Tickets to Paris in the winter are very cheap. If all else fails, we'll be in Paris for my birthday and New Years. Who could complain about that? So, like all addicts, I've got a something "stashed" away if I need it. I can get my fix just by reminding myself that I have a back-up plan.

Spontaneity is way overrated and given half a chance I'll stamp it out.
Carolyn Martin

I'm Now Available on Liveperson.com--Press Release

Carolyn C. Martin can now be found at www.liveperson.com/carolyn-c-martin for live chat or phone counseling or by email.
Issued By: Mariposa PsychotherapyJul 03, 2008 21:22:56


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
PRLog (Press Release) – Jul 03, 2008 – After doing counseling and psychotherapy in private practice and in hospitals for over 20 years, Carolyn C. Martin, MS, LPC, LMFT, has become available for online chat, phone counseling and through email at www.liveperson.com/carolyn-c-martin. Ms. Martin is a Licenced Professional Counselor and Marriage and Family Therapist in Austin, Texas. She provides counseling & therapy to individuals, couples, and families. She feels that her first task as a therapist is to establish trust with my clients. Then she willI help them discover better ways of dealing with their world. Her approach to therapy is compassionate, reassuring and solution oriented. She sees individuals for depression, anxiety and sexual abuse. She sees couples for premarital, marital, post-divorce, specializing in issues of infidelity, affairs, and cheating. She also sees clients for parenting issues, specializing in the problems of new parents. Ms. Martin uses a multitude of therapeutic approaches: cognitive behavioral, solution-focused, psychodynamic, existential, behavioral, and family systems therapy, etc. Coming from a teaching background, she is acutely aware that clients have a wide variety of learning styles. She trys to fit the method to the client. When working with couples in premarital or marriage counseling, she assesses & facilitates change using the research & methods of John Gottman. This approach for martial success is comprehensive and highly effective. She is a Certified Gottman Educator for the Bringing Baby Home Workshop also. You can also find her at www.mariposapsychotherapy.com